THE STATUS OF KHMER WOMEN
by Elizabeth Chey
The image of the Cambodian woman has always been compared to the celestial goddesses on the walls of the great temples Angkor Wat. The pleasant smile and distant gaze serve as a paragon for Cambodian women. Apsara, as they are called, represent water and purity and the fluidity of the virtuous female.
Khmer literature, in its didactic tone, has also played a major role in shaping the image and persona of the Khmer woman. Through stories about Srey Kroup Leakhnak, the virtuous woman who upholds the family name, Khmer women and men are trained for their social roles within Cambodian society.
But after twenty years of war, genocide and suffering and now resettlement in America, both Khmer society and its people find it harder to live up to the old ideas of what they have always defined as Khmer.
A Cambodian girl is like cotton... With the redefining of social roles in the Khmer community, Cambodians face complicated challenges in adjusting to the mainstream culture of America. Faced with a 180 degree shift in gender roles, women have found it even more compromising to save their identities as Khmer women.
"To be an improper woman is to cease to be Khmer, and given Khmer notions of the centrality of Khmerness, to cease to be Khmer is to cease to be fully human," wrote Judy Ledgerwood, Ph.D.
However, the conflict of ideals proves to have heavier consequences for women who have grown up in Cambodia and have now resettled in an environment which advocates and demands actions and morals that conflict with the social and moral systems they were taught to uphold.
Traditional Cambodian gender roles have relied on a unique system of "gender equality" which has been quite different from the "equality" considered by American standards from the women's feminist movement. As Ledgerwood explores, Khmer women's roles and their behavior greatly affect the status of their husbands, sons, and fathers. The ranking of a man within society has a direct correlation to the image projected by the women in his life. Women, have a power to upset the entire status structure through their behavior. It is a power that has no equal in male roles or in Western terms.
Yet this traditional role, though potent, has also proved enslaving to the Khmer women in the new Cambodian social structure and within the Cambodian communities in America.
As described in Khmer literature, the Khmer woman, must remain virtuous to uphold the image of her family. She is required to speak softly, walk lightly and be well-mannered at all times. She is required to stay in her home, and serve as the caretaker of the family and preserver of the home. As a young woman, a Khmer woman must be a virgin before she marries and be faithful to her husband after marriage, even though he is allowed to have extramarital affairs. But if a wife is virtuous, he will not need to look elsewhere for happiness. She must be clever and wise by bringing greater wealth and status to her husband.
Heavy consequences exist for women who disobey the didactic message directed to them in Khmer literature. Often times the women are punished by rape or end their lives in suicide from shame.
Many Khmer women, especially single mothers, have suffered through tremendous hardships, which have greatly affected their self-image. During the reign of the Khmer Rouge, women were often viewed as being less threatening to the regime; their lives were spared while they faced the death of their husbands, sons and fathers. Many continue to carry their painful memories throughout their daily lives.
